It's been said before, quite often by Me........and maybe it's especially apt since I am now injured and for all intents and purposes, likely retired from any kind of work other than piecemeal.
Work - I don't mind going there & coming home, it's just that big long bit in the middle that I can't abide.
Not related at all, really, to the subject matter at hand, but one can't really open a piece of writing with morbidity death and doom, at least not on a Sunday in Port Douglas.
Other meaningless, not dissimilar statements might be 'It's a grand life if you don't weaken, but a much better one if you do'.......but where am I heading with these absolute Pearls?
Well, as they go and do, usually just the once, mind you, people do die, leave this Earth, drop off the twig....'Go to Ivy Cottage' was what we would call it, which was our special Nurses-Only code-word for having gone down to the mortuary.
It goes by many names, does Death, but it's still pretty bloody final when it comes knocking....sometimes expected, sometimes out of the blue, it is The End of All Ends for our mortality, you know, that thing we've ignored for so long, thinking that it's been 'Us' who've been 'putting it off for a bit', when all the while it was locked in as firmly as 'C' always is on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' when the contestant in the chair hasn't got a clue as to the correct answer (everyone knows C is the answer when we don't know the answer - and if anyone's listening, someone ought to change it every few months to keep things interesting, at least - C'Mon Eddie, you knobstick - earn your salary)
I'm not naturally morbidly inclined, (seen here Italicized, with new & added Inclination) if there is such a term....well, there is now......but my ex-Father-In-Law went and 'Bit The Big One' a couple of nights ago. I was informed of his passing via text message, how very convenient, although to be fair, there wasn't really any other way to reach me, since I have neglected to give my ex-wife my only recently acquired phone number for reasons I am yet unsure about, or for reasons that I am very sure about but will save until another time to discuss, unless you press me on the matter.
He passed away peacefully in his sleep, did my Ex-FIL, whilst at home with his family - way to go, I reckon, and never mind all of those who say, No, that's no way to go.......fighting a giant Sea Octopus, wrestling a 10 metre crocodile before snapping it's neck in two, or taking-on the Russian Mafia with nothing more than a copy of The Australian and a pencil....that's the way a man should die - but most of us, in The End, do as did my ex-Father In Law, and die rather peacefully & quite uneventfully in their sleep (provided they haven't been somewhat unlucky and contracted some dreadful intractable disease that can very easily remove & replace the word 'peacefully', trust me on that one)
Of the several years that I knew my ex FIL, there was not one single day that he wasn't completely totally & utterly stoned off his trolley.......permanently off his melon, I kid you not, yet always controlled and capable - and as such, it wasn't always easy for others to tell, but it was a daily and a multiple event for him - and hat's-off to that, I say.
Did he have a good life, well, I'm less sure of that one taken to it's fullest meanings, but you could never say he didn't try very, very hard, in his own way, to have one, mostly single-handedly, and he always had a special glint in his eye and a glass half full attitude about him in that most special Very Green & Hydroponic of ways.
Rest In Peace, Man.
Yes, it always does remind us of our own mortality, this Death thing, although we don't like to focus upon it since it's scares us shitless when we do.....yet we should, if only to use the certainty of our own eventual 'who knows when' demise to help us live this life we've been given to it's absolute fullest.
It can, in the end, be incredibly short, can the Life caper, and again, to throw-in yet another cliche, 'You're a Long Time Dead' - at least in this current version of Life As We Know It - but fuck me, we really don't know it all that well, do we?
When are we ever going to learn that we aren't Immortal?
The TV is choc-full of ad's these days, playing upon our fears of Death, just in case some of us don't have quite enough of those already - you can get your very own Funeral Plan over the phone, usually without a medical examination, they readily tell us - and if Death is as a result of an accident, the payout is quadrupled and paid (usually) within 48 hours (how magnificent!!!! - sign me up today!!!!)....they even have couples, and don't call me a cynic when I say they might just be pretend couples, 'actors' even, telling us the peace of mind they've been given by enlisting in the Funeral Plan.....why leave the family with all that needless debt, they say?
Well, why not, I say.
Death cancels all debts, at least for the Death-ee (that definitely IS a new one!) and I have made it quite clear to the very few loved one's I have that I wish for nothing fancy, with the cheapest of packing cartons being the best I would expect before setting me on fire.
Should anyone attend the after-party celebrations of my own demise's, a few Cucumber Sandwiches with the crusts cut-off (absolutely divine up here in the Tropics, alive or dead) and a jug of chilled water will do well enough for the attendees, and if this makes them think of or remember me only as a tightwad bastard, then at least I won't give a rat's arse about same due to being fully in Dead-Mode.
Death cancels all worries, too, isn't it just marvelous!!
Of course, what I'm doing here is trying to smile about a rather serious matter, since if I didn't, I'd become even more upset than I ever thought I would be about this latest news.
Most text messages I get are those telling me that it's now even cheaper to call China. They should add that it's also and simultaneously even more expensive to call anyone anywhere other than China, especially within one's own country.
Bastards!
In truth, most of this is now written precisely due to it reminding me of my own very fragile existence, and that even living in Paradise can be much more brief than we would ideally wish for - better take all that I've been given and live life as fully as money and, more importantly, health, will allow.
Best end things on another cliche :
You Can't Take It With You.
You can, though, spend it liberally whilst still here so that no-one else can enjoy it, or go-on to use it after your death to buy really stupid things, such as far too many Shoes, Handbags, Houses, PlayStations, Plasma TV's, Doughnuts, Bags of Lollies.
I have a very strong feeling that in the next life, for surely this one we're in isn't It, (No wait, there's More, surely?) - there'll be none, or a very different currency required.
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