As another day has dawned, here in Paradise Central aka Port Douglas, I glance out of Origin Espresso's window at the most beautiful Sunday morning as it unfolds - it's practically the same as the last one I saw, which was about a week ago, and will be, I have little doubt, very similar to the next one that will come along, Big Guy/Gal Upstairs-willing, in just around a week's time.
Yes, I know, it all sounds rather dull and predictable, which is just the way we like it here, now that we're on the cusp of the finest weather here in the Tropics.
The Wonder Of Winter!
As Port prepares itself for the annual Carnivale next month, and as we enter what will be one of the several 'tourist' seasons, we are beginning to see a greater influx of people wandering the streets and beaches of this magnificent township. The many traders, restaurants and outlets are all preparing in a much more eagerly anticipated manner, the arrival of tourists, with what has been the passing of 2-3 years of a huge down-turn in tourism, affecting things up here at least as profoundly as anywhere else in our wide land.
The other thing of greater, perhaps much more significant interest, and not so far away on the horizon, is the imminent arrival of an estimated 40,000 (or quite possibly a great many more), for what will be the landmark event this coming November - yes, the next full Solar Eclipse will pass directly over Port Douglas, and at around 6:43am on the morning of November 14th, any spot on 4 Mile Beach will be at an absolute premium. (Ironically, and likely quite unbeknown to most, the Eclipse can be viewed from a great many places, any where the sun can be seen over the horizon, naturally) yet it will be the beach, of course, that will be the main draw card).
The hotels & resorts are well booked-out for the event, and now it's all about how best to market the optimal experience to view things : amongst many others, one such means will be viewing platforms, purpose-built for pre-paying customers, and built-in to their hotel's more-bloated-than-usual accommodation fees for the most part....or am I being unfair here? (Rhetorical, relax)
I am slightly left of ambivalent about these platforms, which are likely to monopolize so much of the beach. Even with a whole 4 Miles to play with, there's still a chance these obscenities will end-up leaving what may be little space for the likes of Me and my compatriots, all of whom, as residents of Paradise Inc, are extremely unprepared to pay any form of premium to sit in some very uncomfortable seating in one of many heinous mini-grandstands. I won't be paying to sit on any platform, and will be somewhat unhappy, to say the least, if said constructions mess with my own viewing experience.
I can imagine - and can do so a little too readily, (see below......you'll get there, eventually) many a scenario where the local folk, (with me not exactly at the helm, yet not too far back) tearing-down the offending obstructions, before casting them all into the sea. I will, though, pay what is the, for now, at least, estimated cost of 'very affordable' - 'just a few dollars only' as is currently being mooted & predicted - for special, genuine cardboard 'eclipse viewing glasses'.
These will, naturally, be priced most reasonably and within the reach of all........people involved in the selling of such wares are always reasonable & nice like this, I've found............Not.
I now go back in time, far back, to a prime example, amongst a great many, of what I refer to above, this at Reading Jazz, Blues & Rock Festival, in Hertfordshire, UK - this was something I never missed, a yearly music festival held each June over 3 days, and at which I saw some of the world's greatest rock bands, time and again, during some of the absolute best days of my life, but I digress.
Now, at Reading Festival, with a crowd well in excess of 50,000 souls each & every day, anyone could sell bottles of water and ice creams in abundant quantity, at what then would have been a reasonable fee - they could do so and make a boat-load of money, with so many takers. Here was something the size of an Ice Cream Van as the sales outlets, and there would be, perhaps 3 of these outside & around the main arena. I should mention, that we refer here to the era of 1972 through 1975, and at a time when one could readily buy, for just One English Pound/just under $2AU or thereabouts, around 10 small bottles of water, at least 5 Hot Dogs, 4 Hamburgers and a Doner Kebab/Elephants Leg-on-a-BBQ/spit with the lot, bathed in the finest grease and heavily dosed in Chilli Sauce (this was the very first emergence of kebabs in the UK, and the people really did take to them, big-time.......yes, you could buy all of this and get change almost anywhere........I think you know what's coming.
Yes, these Blonks were selling - for a while, quite successfully - just One small bottle of water for One Pound Sterling.
I guess they felt reasonably well-protected in the safety of the Ice Cream Vans - and for a while, they kind-of were. Well, naturally, people had few options - it was Summer-Time, and screamingly hot......if they wanted water, and they sure did, it was either queuing-up at the Porta-Loo's for the wash-your-hands tiny sink.....a nightmare even to queue to empty one's bladder, let alone fill-up any empty plastic bottle that one didn't actually possess, and risk Salmonella, Shigella, Giardia or worse......or, as was de rigeur, through sheer lack of options, give-in to the Water-Sharks.
Many simply caved-in, whilst 'the masses', as we'll call them, took alternative action.
Isn't Democracy a beautiful thing!.......the people will always decide in the end.
The vans were unceremoniously overturned, rather violently, after which, very graciously, the owners were allowed to run-away at their own pace, which was always incredibly swiftly, while 'the masses' took what was, in the end, rightfully theirs. It was all very proper, in that mob kind of way........no excessive violence was ever required, and whilst I know that overturning several Ice Cream Vans does seem, by it's very nature, a violent act, it was, in the end, the sort of mini-revolution that almost everyone (save the water-sharks) will attest to as being just, and that was precisely what happened.
What few Policemen were around could do little, and many of those had a look of resignation and, dare I say it, admiration - they, too, had no doubt, paid a premium for their own bottled water.
The vans were totally stripped of their wares, all stock was handed out gratis by the new temporary owners of the vans, to the thirsty festival folk, until it was all gone, all to the rapturous applause of hundreds of onlookers. It was divine intervention - the UN Troops could not have done it better than us part-time hippies, on that fine day.
Interestingly if not surprisingly, when the vans returned in following years, pricing was much more, umm......'acceptable'.
But what was it that I was talking about again.......the point that I'm making.....
Yes, yes.........the anti-burn-out-your-retina's cardboard glasses........somehow, I just cannot see these being sold at a fair price.....ie, a price conducive to the bit of cardboard and darkened plastic film that they are. When someone can potentially, and very fairly, make enough money, on that one day, to retire for the whole year to follow, and do so by not fleecing the public.....well, shame on me for thinking they should do the right thing.......it's somehow not enough to make hay while the sun shines - no, we have to enter the familiar rip-off territory of the Exceptionally & Very Greedy.
The Bastards!
Many will, of course, rock-up in their welding masks and goggles, many of them borrowed from Uncles in the trade - some will try to look at the Eclipse through their Bolle's/Ray-Ban's, feeling that the extortion has already been done to death back when they bought them for five times their real worth....that these Sunglasses-Exceptionalle would surely be more than enough to not burn their eyes from their sockets.
Yet more will attempt to view the thing with the naked eye - I guaran-fucking-tee it.....Accident & Emergency Departments and the Ambo's will be working overtime, flat-out, and the Fred Hollows Foundation will go gangbusters. Oh yes, there'll be entirely stupid people here too, lots & lots of them - some of them wealthy, even - but, the Eclipse will be one of the world's great levelers, at least for the couple of minutes that it will last. Afterwards, some of us will go have a few cucumber sandwiches, slam-down several coldies and play loud but great music, whilst others dine on Lobster, Coral Trout and Langoustine with a Mangosteen-Raspberry Jus & Tropical salad, whilst listening to absolute dross........it's the only way to fly, really.....the Cucumber Sandwich method, I mean, naturally.
I'll even cut the crusts-off, if you like.
I may be pleasantly surprised - we could, indeed, see $2 cardboard Eclipse-viewing glasses, but my wad is going on them being $5 or more.......I'll be putting my money on it, too.
But, for now, if you're still there, it's a beautiful day - the coffee is good, and the Ocean is getting, slowly, to the stage where it will have fewer & fewer Box Jelly-Fish and other nasty bastard stingers that can kill us stone-cold dead.....I can put-off purchasing that stinger suit for another year, and will very soon actually be able to swim again in the beautiful coral sea again.
For the moment, at least, there's no charge for doing it, but watch this space.
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