As with all emails, this one is brief, as sent to good friends of mine following a Saturday mid-mornings breakfast and coffees akimbo in glorious Beach-side Melbourne, Oz.
Saved for the posterity of it all, and as my 1st installment here.
Heya there you guys
As title explains, thanks so much for what was, in the end, once I'd desisted with my bleating and uncontrollable bawling and emotional fragility, a superb brekky with great friends - that The Pantry is in such a top spot, has superb coffee and that special ambiance that's increasingly rare to find (even in Melbourne The Great) merely tops it all off. It was lovely for us all to see D again, too, after what had been way too long. It's always so special for me to see the way D opens-up so warmly to M - something, I am sure, that constantly surprises M in the absolute nicest of ways. It's what makes D such a very special lady, and far more scarce than hens teeth (not to mention the likes of shit from a rocking-horse/as scarce as etc).
Well overdue, too, that we were able to get out at all and do anything more meaningful than do the food shopping, as is usually the case - M, in particular, is still getting used to the whole cafe scene, notably the doing of what Melbournians always do so well........just go out of a weekend and chill over some great food and coffee. She's slowly coming around to an understanding of it all, but there's still a way to go yet as to the whole why bother side of things proper - as with going-out for dinner, it's still so often about the eating being more a case of the purely functional - get it over and done with, pay the bill and go away again - and of course, this barely scrapes the surface of what going out for dinner, or just a few coffees, should be all about. It's a work in progress, and I won't give-up on it - not even sure if you can see through to exactly what I mean as such..........can be a case, possibly, of shopping time being wasted, sometimes, not always, by taking anything more than the necessary amount of time getting through the meal/snack/coffee etc maybe - this is more of a guess than any kind of absolute fact, mind you, and I still haven't worked it out properly yet.
It's something I enjoy so much, and always have, and I may have to accept that, quite simply, she may never get quite so much out of simple people watching and idling the time away over good coffee in a great spot as I do....in fact this is, to me, the most likely outcome, and I have to admit, it does sadden me. I lament the lack of sharing this most simple pleasure with the one I love the most......just one more thing to get all sad and weepy about for me, of course!
Don't touch that dial - stay tuned to this channel for more on these ongoing questions and others in the series 'My Missus & I'.
I think, too, that D (and yourself) do have something when you tell me I should write, quite aside from the complement you both pay me in feeling I can write well enough, and it really is a complement to me, for which I thank you both - there are a great many things I have, from the many and varied experiences from my life to write about, some truly as bizarre as it gets, some deep and meaningful, and yet more almost totally shallow and meaningless to all but me, perhaps?
No matter this, and even if all it ever does is get it off my own chest, then it would be mission accomplished from a cathartic standpoint.
It's even more important that I do something along these lines since I do have some issues in not being able to fully communicate as much as I would like with M - this is a far greater issue for me than perhaps I've let-on, though one I'm sure that doesn't come as too much of a surprise to you, and one which may go some way to explain why I sometimes prattle-on too much way too often - not at all to the point where she & I aren't happy, or even close, and it would never be the case to contemplate our not being with one another and so-on, not in any way shape or form.......just with me, as you may have noticed, I do think rather deeply about most things, often too often, and often to my own detriment.
At other times, as just mentioned, you (G) are generally 'It' when it comes to any major form of intellectualizing, since for reasons all my own, I have no other friends and, the aforementioned fact that I am married to a Chinese woman who has yet to master this language. Short of me mastering Mandarin, something which is rather unlikely, more due to the focus being placed upon M getting to grips with English being far more vital than an inability on my part to learn it (and not as much of a cop-out as you might think, this one!), of course, now being here in her new homeland, it is so vital that she conquers English to a certain point.
In this way, though, it could, to some, seem that we are far more incompatible than is really the case sometimes - to one another, I mean, when really, all it is, for the most part, is a lack of understanding, of comprehension, from either or both of us, of what's been said or is being said.
There is no better current example than this Port Douglas thing : more than anything else, M is resisting most of it due to the feeling that she has no choice or say in things - and truly, this is simply not true. Of course, I DO want us to live up there, and I genuinely do feel that it is one way of improving our 'lot' in this life that remains. Short of winning the big-one, simply uprooting and relocating did it for me last time in a very big way (although I do realize, completely, that I cannot speak for M, not until she has at the very least experienced the Far North for even a brief spell, but - I really DID love it those 10 years, and loved it in spite of the many difficulties I had, with my health and my being with the wrong person, Sue-Style (and ironically, my Italian wife of the time was also a Sue!) I may, though, in the end, have to accept - and I will, should it be the case - that M and/or MC may dislike things up there intensely, or dislike them enough to want to live there. I can't imagine why......well, other than the relentless humidity when it comes and a couple of other things, cyclones and the like!!
We've had the chat today as to 'utilizing' or otherwise the city, and one's need or not to actually need to live here, as amazing as Melbourne is. In so many ways, though, I feel to not use Melbourne is almost unforgivable, and we use it so seldom as to be close to criminal, in this way.
Meanwhile, back at the Ranch...........Time ticks ever-onwards, in the meantime, as sure as I'll be fifty-fucking-five years old, ffs, in just a few weeks time - I wish I could simply switch-off the impending feelings of there being such little time left - in essence, of what is both increasing fear and the ever-certain knowledge of my own mortality...........and most of this is, I feel, very strongly, nay extremely closely & inextricably linked to my health (or lack of same). It's like my body is screaming-out, almost, to get, as quickly as is practical and possible, and fair & proper, back to where life really is a little easier, that bit more laid-back and, for mine, so very beautiful a place and an existence.........I am very much in love with the Daintree area and all (well, most) things Tropical......even with the relentless heat and humidity, and me being a man who is so intolerant of same.........boy, I swear, I miss it so much, and I always have, to the point of yet more sadness, lament and tears, many, many times.
For sure, and as you quite rightly state, much of the place is chock-full of all manner of blongs, almost wall-to-wall, but for the most part, I didn't need to interact with most of them, at least most of the time. Work, though, within the framework of a hospital could be, um....interesting at times, and tales of some nurse going-out bush with hubby, family & family dog in-tow, wild pig hunting, and the sadness - or what one would have thought was deep sadness - when the 'family pet/dog' was gored badly by said wild boar, then swiftly sewn-up with old bits of string, only to die on the way home, retold with great pride and followed by 'of course, we just went and 'got a new one' - disposable pets will not, I think, ever take-off down here to that same extent, even if the wild pigs cross the borders in their thousands.
Another one I clearly recall, was another nurse equally proudly showing me a photo of the 3 Taipans hubby had dispatched with the 4-10 shotty, now neatly pegged to the washing line by the head, with belly slit completely open along the full length of the once resplendent 'Joe Blakes' showing a dozen or more eggs inside 2 of them. Well, the bastard things were in the yard, behaving in a manner most menacing, as Taipans are apt to do - as is their job, in fact.
Enriolled Nurse whatever her name was could not have been more proud of things as they stood, photo in hand.
With time, one learns to smile as gently and as appropriately as possible, at the whole 'well, if the dog's not up to it's job, we'll get another one' approach to things that so many seem to have. The stare of disbelief was always met with an equal yet opposite look of perplexity from the blong in question, so best to act naturally, try to blend-in, I always found. I became a master of it, but my then wife seemed to struggle somewhat more, perhaps the Italian side of her not being able to cope with the disturbances of her ideas of 'normal'.
I tell you, it was sometimes so funny, I almost didn't bother going-on to injure my back and instead remaining there unhappily ever after, but the powers that be (Matron, or Sauron as she was sometimes known) clearly had other ideas that would rid them of the best fucking Clinical Specialist they had ever, or would ever see in their hospital, the poor sad bastards. Mind you, it saved my life, in the end, as Mr. Liver was by then more than a tad enlarged and rather fatty, according to the ultrasound, and very clearly heading towards cirrhosis, through my alcoholic punishment each and every set of days-off that came around - yes indeedy, it was that bleak and much bleaker. So much so, that I elected to stop both smoking and drinking immediately.
It was a mere 2 weeks later that I 'discovered' I had 'the entire set', the Holy Trinity, of Uber-High Blood Pressure,(220/135 for the record) a Cholesterol level so elevated it was almost off the chart, (10.7, when the max according to the WHO was 5.5) and the piece de resistance Diabetes Mellitus, Type 2, all at once, discovered that one fine day. I went from taking not one single tablet to taking about 9 of the bastards. A real milestone was my 40th, the year my body said "fuck you, show a little respect" - life sure 'began' at 40 for me.
It was hardly the case of 'Looks like Shit, Smells Like Shit, Tastes like Shit.............................good job I didn't tread in it, eh?
Nope, I just didn't feel at all lucky for whatever reason, although not drinking or smoking was a real bonus that I hope will still go-on to pay dividends for some time to come
Tropical Heaven & Hell in very large doses - things were always going to end in tears, lots and lots of them, and I wasn't let-down.
Again, just for a change, I've used a thousand and more words to tell you something you are abundantly aware of - yes, folks, I really DO need to find a decent blog site where I can spare you of some of my rants and bleatings - some of them, at least, then you can elect or otherwise to read them, rather than having them force-fed to you, with these overly long emails, an oxymoronic state of affairs if ever there was one. I couldn't be brief if my life depended upon it, for whatever reasons.
I am open to suggestions, should you know of a decent blog site. I did, at one time, use 'Blogger', and it wasn't so bad - I blogged a bit back in the early Atomic days, no doubt all or most of it complete bollocks, I hasten to add, and all of which will now have vanished into the ether......at least I hope so, from my best recall of the nature of my rantings - possibly-maybe.
But we've spoken at some length of this only a few hours ago, and I should be blogging this rather than being in your very fine ear canal with this bilge now - I shall seek-out a blog post-haste........first-thing tomorrow!
And in conclusion, big guy and wonderful Db, and in all seriousness, thank you both again for a lovely couple of hours earlier today. I was so glad we were able to make it from the initial doubts of can we/can't we, and aside from my now being very sore and tired, it's been a really superb and very full day, the first for many a while.
I shall bid you a good night for now, and will attempt to spare you these epics in future (don't hold your breath mind you) - you've got better things to do with your time than trawl through my shite just to get to anything half-decent that may or may not even be there.
I shall fuck-off now or there'll be no stopping me at all
L, M & Mc
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Nostalgia IS what it used to be (or so they used to say)
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